Summer is drawing to a close, as the discount school supply racks all tattle about in all of the major department stores. Coupons, sales flyers and TV commercials all hail the ringing in of the new school year. Parents start their sighs of relief and school teachers and students alike ignore the mournful sigh welling up within them that marks the arrival of September. There is also a thrill of excitement about all of the holidays coming in the fall: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and for our family we have three birthdays and our anniversary.
For our family this back-to-school ritual dance is somewhat different. I am filled with nervousness and excitement. My nervousness stems from the many questions I ask myself: Will we complete our school work this year? (We didn't finish last year, my mind protests). What if I'm not really that great a teacher and my children aren't prepared for adult life? How am I going to tackle all of the struggles that we dealt with last year? I am also excited about the prospect of conquering all of these problems, and at times I am of the mind that this year will be a great year and everything will go smoothly. Yeah, right. My optimistic side can be so naive sometimes.
At the beginning of summer I was doing some soul-searching, and I had to ask myself the question: Why am I homeschooling? We have had some financial difficulties, and it would certainly be a lot easier if I were to go to school, since I can collect the GI Bill (which I will lose in two years if I do not attend school). Or I could even find a job. Perhaps I should put the children in school. I have heard the argument among some Christians that they put their children into the public school to be a light, because we are in the world and we should witness. This is a very valid statement, and I think for some families this is a great way to go. However, I feel that our family, our children, specifically, need different guidance. I feel that it is a very great burden to place on such small shoulders to be a "light unto the world" when they, themselves, are unsure what exactly this light is.
Now, with that being said, I do not homeschool strictly for religious reasons. I homeschool because I love my children deeply and enjoy being near them. One could argue that I need to allow my children to grow up and that they need to learn how to function in society. However, I feel that many parents expect their children's teacher to raise their children. This is a tremendous pressure on today's teachers who often have to deal with dysfunction, often treading a thin line, trying to help the learners and having to deal with the troublemakers, who are just seeking attention. I feel that it is my responsibility to pass on the values I hold to my children. I also want for my children to enjoy their childhood and learn from experience rather than books. I want for my children to be the best that they can be.
I do not feel that I am any less of a person because I do not have a degree. I have the heart of a teacher, and I am a very intelligent person. I cannot worry about whether their eduaction is truly complete. I have to do my part, and trust that they are smart enough to pick up the rest when the time comes. I feel that I am probably more qualified to teach my children than any classroom teacher because they are mine and I know each of them better than anyone else in this world (except their dad). I know their strenghts and their weaknesses. I know how each of them learn best, and since they are not in a classroom with twenty or thirty other students, they can progress at their own pace. They do not have to wait, or feel pressured to catch up. If we need to go back, we can go back. If we need to move forward, we can move forward.
To sum up: I homeschool because I love my children and I feel that I know better than anybody else what is best for them. I am Mom, hear me roar!
