I ran across this link this evening, and immediately the questions flew through my mind.  This makes me sad, why do we have to assume that because a child isn't "learning" rote grammar and mathematical problems, that the child will be "uneducated"? Can't (and shouldn't) life learning experiences be a major part of a child's education, instead of cramming facts and figures that the child will never use again and wasting 12 years of said child's life with such facts?


Secondly, the writer of the article assumes that the children exposed to this type of education will be relegated “... to the creation of a permanent, uneducated underclass” because of this project.  Don't we already have a permanent uneducated underclass?  The basic thing that we as humans are called to do, take care of the earth, is shoved to the side because we feel that "book learning" is much more important.  What's wrong with exposing a child to farmlife?  We have few enough farmers as it is because of this kind of attitude.


Children should be taught who they are and what they are meant to do, not how to  make the most money in this life.


             "Train a child in the way he should go,
                        and when he is old he will not turn from it."
                                                            Proverbs 22:6

An Apple for Teacher

So, a new school year is upon us, and I am in the throes of purchasing, and waiting for the arrival of, some new curriculum.  I have tried the pure "unschooling" approach, and I find that I cannot keep up with it.  Yes, my children did a lot of stuff, but I was concerned that they weren't getting enough.  We also tried the public school-at-home approach and felt that the work load was too much.  So, I'm hoping that the curriculum I have purchased will be the balance I am looking for.

So, what did I get?  I know, I can hear you asking that question.  I have purchased Sonlight.  After much research and debate and discussion with my husband, we have decided that this curriculum is best for our family.  I like it because the reading, history and Language Arts are all intertwined.  I won't be teaching a bunch of different subjects.  Plus, there are a TON of books, and my kids are voracious readers.  I actually have threatened to ground them from reading.  Yes, it really is that bad.  I also like it because, while it is a Christian based curriculum, it also presents a secular worldview, such as creation vs evolution in the science curriculum, and teaches about other religions of the world, using materials and books from different cultures and religions.  The thing I like best about it is that, compared to other curricula, it is relatively inexpensive.  I got seven subjects (including a higher level math and writing for my older two children) for just over $1000.  The best part is that I get to split the payments over four months!  It came out to about $270 a month for me.

The other thing I am looking forward to is that our newest member of the family, a friend who is living with us for the time being, will be teaching my children some Japanese culture stuff.  I am so excited about what she will come up with for the kids!

So, here's to a new school year, and hopefully my kids will enjoy the new curriculum.  We shall see come December and January :)

The day I had to change the way I raise my child

At 6pm on a Monday evening, we were cozied down for a family night of movies and pizza.  We had just bought two new movies that day and were watching the first one.  Sometime during the movie, my oldest daughter got up and went to the bathroom.  She came out a couple of minutes later saying she couldn't see.  Anything.  After doing a few preliminary checks with her, my husband had me call 911.

From that moment on, we were caught up in a whirlwind of paramedics, emergency room staff, nurses, doctors and tests.  When the paramedics left our home we took her to the emergency room.  By the time we got her there she had disintegrated from a happy 9-year-old to being practically unresponsive.  They had her hooked up to machines and they kept giving her dose after dose of medication.  They kept throwing the word "seizure" around.  Seizures?  How is that possible?  I lived in a surreal state as they worked on my child.  One of the nurses was impressed that I was holding it all together.  What she didn't realize was that inside I was in peices.

Then I heard the words every mother dreads hearing:  "We're going to have to LifeFlight her..."  What?  Don't take my baby!  And I couldn't go.  We had to make the agonizing 45 minute drive up to the hospital without her.

When we finally got there, sometime around midnight, she was sleeping.  They'd given her some medication to calm her body down.  Over the next few days we waited agonizing hours as we listened to our daughter say and do strange things.  She didn't recognize me or her father.  She repeated words and phrases over and over, many of them not making sense.  She saw things that weren't there.  And they ran test after test.  We waited to hear the results of each one, hoping that each would come back negative, but at the same time hoping something would come back with an answer.

That began our journey as parents of a child with epilepsy.  It is strange, even now, to say it.  With each seizure that takes over her mind, and sometimes her body, we watch, we wait.  Most of the time, she pulls through just fine.  But sometimes...we end up in the ER again.

And then, she's my little sunshine again.  The storm is gone.  The clouds roll away.  And she's off to play, without a care in the world.

Onward and Upward

So, I have disenrolled my kids from our Alternative Learning Program (ALP) and have decided (with much encouragement from hubby) to go it alone.  I must admit that I have been pretty nervous about it, but now I am excited to be able to do it.
So, what kept me from doing it?  I think mostly fear.  Fear of not teaching the right things.  Fear of not being a good teacher.  Fear that I might not get it right.
You see, I'm a perfectionist, and I'm bound and determined to raise perfect kids!  Yeah, right.  I've really got to let go of that one.
So, for now, I'm going to do the best that I can, and trust that God will make up for my shortcomings.  Besides, the idea is not to teach them everything before they graduate high school, but to instill in them a love of learning for the rest of their lives.  And when they are ready to learn, hopefully I will have taught them everything they need to know about learning...and that is that it's fun!

Alternative Learning

Our family has opted to use public school curriculum in a homeschool setting.  In the truest sense of the word, this means that we are not technically homeschoolers.  This has its pros and cons.  The main pros are that you get free curriculum and everything you need, plus accountability.  The main con is accountability.

As a somewhat freespirited person, having someone (a public school teacher) who is so closely involved in my children's education, I feel confined.  My teacher is a very sweet person and gives me lots of space, mind you, but it still makes it a bit difficult.  I am required to maintain hours as though my children were still in school, and I have progress goals that I am required to meet each month.  Sorta defeats the purpose of "homeschooling" imo.

I would really like to move away from the public school mentality.  I'd like to be able to complete curriculum in my own time and at my children's paces, not the state's or the school's.  However, I find myself wanting a little of that hand-holding.  I'm afraid to go it alone.  What if I don't teach the right things?  What if I miss something vital?  What if I end up just slacking off and it ends up being more harmful than good?

Also, I like the fact that there are field trips and get-togethers.  I like that I can interact with other moms.  I also like the fact that I don't have to pay monitarily (trust me, I pay in other ways).

It will all work out, but it is a bit frightening, knowing that this time next year I may be flying solo.

Homeschool Struggles

I have done a lot of reflecting on my homeschooling philosophy this summer.  Why do I homeschool?  What do I want for my children to get out of it?  These were some of the questions I wrestled with and many others.  I found myself wondering what benefit it was to myself and my children to homeschool.  I struggled with whether it might be more beneficial to take my skills and talents into the workforce and if my children might be better off being taught by someone else.  I viewed my homeschooling efforts of last year as a colossal failure.

I also wondered if I was being selfish in keeping my children home and preventing them from living a "normal" life.  I struggled with my own memories of school, good and bad.  The school setting is part of our culture, whether private or public, and I found myself feeling guilty that I was depriving my children of being a part of that culture.  But I also know that it is a difficult culture to be a part of.

One of the things I also struggled with last year was rooted in the fact that I am in a unique situation.  We are not technically a homeschooling family, according to the law and the general consensus of how homeschooling families view homeschooling.  We are part of a growing community of what is called "Alternative Learning Experience" or home-based instruction families.  Often I did not feel supported by the homeschooling community because of this minute distinction of the fact that I recieve my curriculum from the public school system and have a state-certified teacher who supervises my children's progress.  I am required to maintain the same amount of hours as a public school student every week, though I do not have to fit them into the window of a normal school day, I am given much freedom and flexibility with those hours and am only held to a monthly total.  I am also expected to complete a certain amount of the curriculum each month.

Needless to say that by the end of last school year I was one burnt out Mama.  I was having trouble meeting the expectations that were being demanded of me both by myself and by my teacher.  I didn't feel that I had much support in my endeavors.

I came to the conclusion that I was putting myself, and thus my children, under a lot of pressure.  I couldn't meet the expectations of others.  I was torn for many reasons.  Financially we were struggling, and I felt guilty that I wasn't contributing.  Combined with the pressures mentioned above I really found myself wondering whether I was capable.  Not only that, but people tend to look at you when you say you're homeschooling and say "Wow!  You're brave!  I could never teach my own children!"  And you find yourself wondering whether you have what it takes.

Here is the conclusion that I came to.  I am going to allow my children to grow and learn at their paces.  I have taken some of the things that I enjoyed about school and applied them to homeschooling.  I am working on making learning fun because that is one of the main reasons that I wanted to homeschool in the first place.  I realized that I was modeling my homeschooling after the schooling standard, the problem is that I disagree with that form of education.  If I am homeschooling because I want to remove my children from that environment, then why am I following that philosophy?  It seems silly to me.  Just because I am using public school curriculum does not mean that I have to follow a public school philosophy.  That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Why do I homeschool?

Summer is drawing to a close, as the discount school supply racks all tattle about in all of the major department stores. Coupons, sales flyers and TV commercials all hail the ringing in of the new school year. Parents start their sighs of relief and school teachers and students alike ignore the mournful sigh welling up within them that marks the arrival of September. There is also a thrill of excitement about all of the holidays coming in the fall: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas, and for our family we have three birthdays and our anniversary.

For our family this back-to-school ritual dance is somewhat different. I am filled with nervousness and excitement. My nervousness stems from the many questions I ask myself: Will we complete our school work this year? (We didn't finish last year, my mind protests). What if I'm not really that great a teacher and my children aren't prepared for adult life? How am I going to tackle all of the struggles that we dealt with last year? I am also excited about the prospect of conquering all of these problems, and at times I am of the mind that this year will be a great year and everything will go smoothly. Yeah, right. My optimistic side can be so naive sometimes.

At the beginning of summer I was doing some soul-searching, and I had to ask myself the question: Why am I homeschooling? We have had some financial difficulties, and it would certainly be a lot easier if I were to go to school, since I can collect the GI Bill (which I will lose in two years if I do not attend school). Or I could even find a job. Perhaps I should put the children in school. I have heard the argument among some Christians that they put their children into the public school to be a light, because we are in the world and we should witness. This is a very valid statement, and I think for some families this is a great way to go. However, I feel that our family, our children, specifically, need different guidance. I feel that it is a very great burden to place on such small shoulders to be a "light unto the world" when they, themselves, are unsure what exactly this light is.

Now, with that being said, I do not homeschool strictly for religious reasons. I homeschool because I love my children deeply and enjoy being near them. One could argue that I need to allow my children to grow up and that they need to learn how to function in society. However, I feel that many parents expect their children's teacher to raise their children. This is a tremendous pressure on today's teachers who often have to deal with dysfunction, often treading a thin line, trying to help the learners and having to deal with the troublemakers, who are just seeking attention. I feel that it is my responsibility to pass on the values I hold to my children. I also want for my children to enjoy their childhood and learn from experience rather than books. I want for my children to be the best that they can be.

I do not feel that I am any less of a person because I do not have a degree. I have the heart of a teacher, and I am a very intelligent person. I cannot worry about whether their eduaction is truly complete. I have to do my part, and trust that they are smart enough to pick up the rest when the time comes. I feel that I am probably more qualified to teach my children than any classroom teacher because they are mine and I know each of them better than anyone else in this world (except their dad). I know their strenghts and their weaknesses. I know how each of them learn best, and since they are not in a classroom with twenty or thirty other students, they can progress at their own pace. They do not have to wait, or feel pressured to catch up. If we need to go back, we can go back. If we need to move forward, we can move forward.

To sum up: I homeschool because I love my children and I feel that I know better than anybody else what is best for them. I am Mom, hear me roar!